Hey everyone! So first let me apologize for the fact that I only half-finished recapping last weeks episode so I never posted. Was prepping for my 2 year old’s birthday party over the weekend on top of what seemed like a thousand other random things going on! I guess I had priorities, who knew.
So onward to this week, which was basically a continuation of the storyline that Luke P is a gigantic tool…
… and Hannah continues to slightly ignore the red flags for reasons that I cannot comprehend at this time.
After a weird little staged recap from the guys of the previous weeks drama, Chris Harrison comes in to tell the guys to pack their bags for the glamorous first destination of… Rhode Island…
Jed’s One-on-One
Hannah takes Jed on the first 1-on-1 of the week for some sightseeing in Rhode Island Boston including the most awkward Halo Top product placement possible
However, the date does get pretty cool when Jed and Hannah head over to The Garden and meet Jaylen Brown (unrelated to Hannah obvi) and Terry Rozier for a little 2-on-2 pickup game. I don’t have much snark here because it was cute and fun and not super corny (mostly).
At dinner that night Jed starts setting the stage for what typically is going to be a tragic/heartbreak story designed to make Hannah see he’s serious. Instead, for what may be the first time in history, a contestant declares outright what everyone already knows but nobody says: He came on the show for fame and exposure. *GASP*
And.it.worked. Mostly because I’m sure Hannah wanted to say “How do you think I got here in the first place? Miss Alabama was not enough to get free FabFitFun boxes!”
Hyper Aggressive Rugby Match
Everything about this rugby match was designed to push Luke P’s aggressively competitive and potentially violent nature front and center.
Yet, there’s John Paul Jones representing for those of us that don’t want to crack skulls. I can’t wait for this guy in Paradise
How Hannah never once got confused and yelled “Roll Tide” is beyond me. Also, her level of enjoyment at the whole “blood, sweat, and tears” thing was next level
So we finally come to the pivotal moment that defines the entire rest of this episode and possibly next week as well: the Luke on Luke violence. See exhibit A below:
Of course both Lukes have a different version of what happened. But surprise of all surprises, all the rest of the guys agree that Luke P was out of line and a raging lunatic to put it mildly.
At the evening portion of the date, Luke P is essentially in the hot seat and is doing his best to play innocent and at the same time manipulate Hannah to think Luke S isn’t all that into her anyway. Garrett and Mike are having none of this mess (and Mike continues to have none of it later in the episode but we’ll get to that!) especially when Luke pulls the “oh NOW i remember”
Two side notes happening during all of this
- Peter asking Hannah to be his girlfriend is too pure for this world. Swoon!
- What did they do to Kevin?
There is no resolution this night in Luke vs Luke, Hannah is just distraught with confusion. Newsflash! They both aren’t all that great! Move along!
Tyler C Date
Tyler has the next one-on-one but first Hannah is having a small breakdown and is worried she’ll ruin her date.
Tyler basically came at her with a movie-worthy speech about how he’ll be there for her and let’s just end this show now shall we? geez!
To sum up…primarily because it wasn’t that eventful and also because I sort of passed out for a bit, they went lobster fishing and then dinner and then danced in front of Jake Owen, someone people actually may have heard of!
Cocktail Party minus the Party part
And now we’re back at it with Luke P vs. Luke S… but also Mike v. Luke P. Let’s just say Mike wins. He will ALWAYS win!
And basically every guy takes their turn trying to tell Hannah he’s gotta go
Finally at 9:58, in an effort to stir up more drama put an end to it all, Hannah asks both Lukes to come with her aaaaaaaaaaaannnnnnnnnnnnnnnddddddddddd TO BE CONTINUED!
See you next week!
The Bachelorennial 