Another week another Luke-driven drama-fest. At least this time it only took up around 60-70% of the show so we at least got to devote some time to Garrett and Peter the Pilot.
Speaking of devoting time, I could not bring myself last week to recap a show that was pretty much just a clip show. That and I was just too darn tired, but I’ll blame it on Luke fatigue.
Welcome to Latvia
We start off the episode in the grand Bachelorette tradition of name dropping the location about 50 times in 5 minutes and acting like it’s the dream location each and every one of these guys put on their vision boards to visit when they were kids
Garrett 1-on-1
Yes, they went Bungee jumping *naked* (see below) and had a legitimate conversation but all we really learned here was that Garrett doesn’t like football (how was this not a Bama-Hannah deal breaker) and got in trouble with his family for being a pro golfer?
The true purpose of this date mostly seemed just to fuel more Luke P fury at the thought of his rival being naked with “his woman”.
It’s really after the date when the action happens as Garrett comes back to the hotel to tell the guys about the date and Luke’s anger is like an actual cartoon character (which production obviously caught on to)
Group Date
The remaining guys not named Garrett or Peter head out for their group date of primarily eating cheese and drinking and just having a good time
Everyone is having a great time, getting along, enjoying the day. And whaddayaknow… Luke just can’t let that happen
And then there is WAY too much conversation about driving in lanes, looking in other lanes, etc. etc. It just once again reaffirms Luke is THE dimmest bulb in the box.
Luke then gets to further his current narrative by confronting Hannah about her “troubling behavior” I hate him so much
And the fact that he somehow thought he was going to get the group date rose after that?!?! On what delusional planet does this trash man live on?
Peter’s 1-on-1
Thank you sweet baby Jesus for putting Peter the Pilot on this season. He is a ray of sweet sweet sunshine. Hannah takes Peter on some sort of spa day. We all know how these dates go – heavy on the PDA and sexual innuendo. What I was not expecting was the creepy hippy couple showing them the ropes so to speak.
Hannah and Peter obviously have some serious chemistry and if she does not pick him, he better darn well be our next Bachelor because we need more of this dear sweet man. Also, he needs to be required to speak more Spanish 🙂
Jed “sneaks” over to visit Hannah
Later that night, Jed decides he just has to see Hannah promote himself some more and sneaks over to Hannah’s hotel room. So sneaky with a camera and producer along with you…
Jed is completely playing from the Wes Haydn handbook (for those newer to the franchise, google Jillian Harris’ season) Country singer, front runner, what else? Oh! Right! He had/has a girlfriend that actually agreed to him going on the show to further his career.
It’s hard to miss it out on the interwebs right now, but let me also tell you this is nothing new – you’d be surprised at how many of these people have someone else right up until the day they start filming but not all of those people come forward. Not a good look for ol’ Jeddy-boy that’s for sure. Makes it really hard to watch his interactions with Hannah, too.
Another Twarted Cocktail Party
Hannah shows up to have another conversation with Luke prior to the Rose Ceremony/Cocktail Party-That-Never-Happens, giving him the chance to redeem himself after basically slut-shaming Hannah but instead he gaslights like nobody has gaslighted before
I will honestly admit how much I misjudged Tyler at the start. This guy is what the kids these days call “woke.” Dude can’t dance for crap but I am here for the fact that he treats Hannah like a man should in 2019 rather than 1919 *ahem Luke*
Once again, thanks to Luke’s shenanigans, there is no cocktail party – straight to the Rose Ceremony. And somehow after allllll this b.s. Luke still gets a rose sending Dustin and Dylan home (again I say who? but mostly keeping ANYBODY other than Luke would have been preferable)
The Bachelorennial 