It’s here. The End. The culmination of watching Hannah make a lot of really bad choices and just wishing that maybe she’ll get this last one right? However, Chris Harrison’s intro confirms the exact opposite is probably about to happen
After that intro, Hannah gives her monologue as she gets ready for her big decision. She also doesn’t sound super convinced with her choice, as evidenced by her freaking out and practically jumping out of the van en route to the Final Rose.
Neil Lane Arrives
As is customary, Neil Lane shows up to Greece for the free vacation to help give Hannah the perfect engagement ring. And once again, Jed is pretty much dialing it in.
Tyler is the First Out of the Limo
As most of you know, I read all the spoilers – meaning I KNOW THAT TYLER GETS DUMPED! However, somehow I was praying for a miracle and still felt myself getting extremely emotional seeing him get out of the limo first. I may have an unhealthy level of adoration for this man. But it’s good to know that I’m not alone out there
Tyler is, as always, ready with the perfect beautiful speech to make us all swoon and starts right in, all while Hannah is trying to figure out when to interrupt and stop him
I legit started to tear up when Tyler realized what was happening and said “this isn’t happening” but was still truly the most gentle soul and wishing her the best
Jed Arrives With His Damn Guitar
I mean, do I really need to say anymore than that heading? What in the actual F? Now we know why Chris said this proposal was truly cringeworthy! Yeesh.
After the Proposal
Ahhhh finally, we get to see the aftermath of Hannah discovering what we’ve all known for the past month or so – that Jed is the captain of the douche-canoe
There’s a lot to unpack here, but Jed just really dug himself deeper and deeper each time he opened his mouth for an explanation
Also fun to see was the editor from People magazine providing some side commentary that just confirms even more. I really won’t post it all here, but let me tell you – both People and Reality Steve had WAY more dirt than what’s been even released out there.
The biggest takeaway here was Jed trying to say he was never dating Haley (despite saying “I love you”, going on several trips, being together the night before he left to film, etc, etc, etc) AND that in some strange world he lives in, he broke up with her in his head so she should have known it was over. Whaaaaa?!?!?!
What was really great was seeing the moment that it all clicked for Hannah as to why his family was SO awkward and uncomfortable and was practically telling her to run during hometowns. I applauded her “clarity” in that moment.
And a collective sigh of relief (and applause across America) when Hannah takes off her ring and tells Jed she’s done.
Live with Chris Harrison
Now we get back to the studio and Chris Harrison is ready to see Jed ripped a new one in person. Hannah comes out looking possibly the hottest she has all season. Yes Girl Yes!
Hannah talks about how much she has grown and learned and Chris jumps right to it – are you still with Jed?
Time for Jed to come out and face the music as it were (not his music, thank the Good Lord!) Not even Luke P had such a terrible amount of applause. So uncomfortable
And I somewhat feared that he would find a way to apologize enough to get a second chance with Hannah. Thank goodness she shut that shit down, fast and in such a classy way, saying she’s been hurt but doesn’t want to hurt him.
Hannah and Tyler Round 2?
Now that we’ve sufficiently cancelled Jed from our collective lives, Hannah shakes it off like T. Swift and gears up to see Tyler again. This was SO perfectly set up and I was literally squealing on my couch in anticipation of Hannah getting a do-over
Everything about their interaction was adorable and their body language made it pretty apparent that they’re still into each other (especially Hannah’s, girl was middle-school giddy) even though Tyler also seemed a bit cautious also. I mean Hannah did reject him for Jed-the-Giant-Head
OMG Hannah asks Tyler to go out for drinks and I was screaming!!! YAY! Get your man, girl!!!
All we can hope from here is to NEVER hear from Jed again and to hopefully get a camera on Hannah and Tyler’s drink date because I am SO invested in them making this work and having the most beautiful babies the world has ever seen.
Now on to the glorious trash fire that is always Bachelor in Paradise. Can’t wait to hear the glorious tune of “Almost Paradise” for the intro video next Monday night!
The Bachelorennial 